Exceeds expectations
- Stays composed when a customer shouts, names the feeling behind the anger, and settles the issue.
- Notices own frustration rising and steps away before a reply that would harm the relationship.
- Reads that a colleague's short reply is stress, not rudeness, and eases the load rather than escalating.
- Adjusts how a hard message is delivered based on how the person is likely to take it.
- Owns the effect of a sharp comment made in a rush, and repairs it the same day.
- Senses the mood of a tense meeting and shifts the tone before it turns into a clash.
- Takes critical feedback without defensiveness, sitting with it before responding.
- Supports a colleague going through a hard patch while still holding the work to standard.
Meets expectations
- Keeps own emotions in check during a tense moment rather than reacting on impulse.
- Notices when a colleague is upset and responds with some care.
- Takes critical feedback without getting defensive or shutting down.
- Reads the mood of a room reasonably well most times.
- Apologises when a reaction was clearly out of proportion.
- Separates a bad day from how colleagues are treated.
- Shows empathy for a customer's frustration before solving the issue.
- Stays steady under pressure rather than passing stress to the team.
Needs improvement
- Reacts on impulse when frustrated, and later has to repair the relationship.
- Misses signs that a colleague is under strain and presses on regardless.
- Gets defensive when given critical feedback, so the point does not land.
- Lets a bad mood spill into how the team is treated that day.
- Takes disagreement as a personal attack rather than a difference of view.
- Struggles to stay composed when a customer or colleague is upset.
- Speaks sharply under pressure without noticing the effect on others.
Self-review phrases
- I notice my frustration rising now and step away before a reply I would regret.
- I read a colleague's short reply as stress, not rudeness, and offer to help.
- I want to take critical feedback without getting defensive.
- I keep a bad day from spilling into how I treat the team.
Tips for writing this feedback
- Judge emotional intelligence by behaviour under stress, such as staying composed and repairing a reaction, not a calm nature alone.
- Look for self-awareness: a person who notices their own frustration and manages it shows more than one who never feels it.
- Value reading others accurately, since misjudging stress as rudeness sours relationships that were fixable.
- Distinguish emotional intelligence from being agreeable; managing emotion well can still mean giving a hard message.
- Use specific moments, and avoid rating this on personality, since quiet and outgoing people can both score well or poorly.
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What does emotional intelligence look like in a review?
Emotional intelligence shows as managing your own reactions and reading others accurately: staying composed when a customer shouts, noticing your own frustration and stepping away, or reading a colleague's stress rather than taking it as rudeness. Judge it by behaviour under pressure and by self-awareness, not by a naturally calm personality. Use specific moments from the period.
How is emotional intelligence different from interpersonal skills?
Emotional intelligence is the awareness and regulation of emotion, your own and others'. Interpersonal skill is how you build and hold relationships day to day. They overlap, but a person can read emotions well yet keep relationships thin, or be warm and liked while reacting poorly under stress. Rate the awareness and control here, and the relationships separately.
Can you coach emotional intelligence?
To a degree, yes. Self-awareness can grow with honest feedback and specific examples of impact. Simple habits help, such as pausing before replying when frustrated, or checking an assumption about a colleague's mood before reacting. Progress is slower than learning a tool, so set small, concrete expectations and look for fewer impulsive reactions over time rather than a sudden change.